May 3, 2013

Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday...and Tidbit Tuesday!

Welcome back to Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday, where writers come together to share 8 sentences of whatever they wish.  Also adding Tidbit Tuesday!
This is another excerpt from FORTY YEARS IN A DAY.  In last week’s scene, Angelina, with much trepidation, told her husband, Alfredo, that their daughter had already left for America. This week I decided to back it up a bit and post the scene where Victoria actually leaves for America with her four small children while her husband is in an alcohol induced sleep.

Italy, 1906

Never changing into her bedclothes, Victoria packed away their usual breakfast, bread and milk, along with other staples needed for their travels, and nervously paced away the rest of the seemingly endless hours. In the eerie black essence of the night, she nudged the children awake before the village stirred and dawn could shed light on her scheme.
           Opening his droopy eyes, Vincenzo sat up and looked at the large sack and basket by the door. When he started to speak, Victoria shushed him with a finger to her lips and handed him his clothes. “Don’t wake Papa, and dress quickly.”

Vincenzo fumbled with sleepiness as he put on his knickers. He tied his shoes and helped Gennaro while Victoria swiftly dressed Catherina and Gabriella.

With Gabriella dozing in her arms, she quietly ushered the children out of the house, maneuvering them around the squeaky boards that led to the front door. Stepping out into the early-morning fog, they were enveloped in a cloud of heat and humidity.

As she gently closed the door behind them, Vincenzo asked, “Isn’t Papa coming with us?”

“I’ll explain later. We’re going on an adventure.” Victoria kept her voice low and calm.


“America, Vincenzo, to America.”
Thanks for stopping by!


  1. Sounds like she's running away and taking the kids with her. Lots of long sentences, but they really work!

  2. Oh, wow! She's really taking them? The fight last week must have gone badly...

  3. What a brave woman, packing up in the middle of the night, leaving everything behind. She's making a sane choice in an insane situation. Go, Victoria!

  4. "... maneuvering them around the squeaky boards that led to the front door..." I was tense, hoping they'd make it.

  5. this girl has spunk. I like her. Well done.

  6. The emotion is understated, which makes it even more powerful. Good job!

  7. Very awesome! My breath was in my throat hoping she didn't get caught.

  8. Excellent. Lots of tension. Draws me right in.

  9. Intense, just kept dreading that the husband might wake up - very well done! Excellent excerpt!

  10. I like this! Very atmospheric. You could sense the hush as they try to slip away without being discovered. Great snippet!

  11. Thank you all for your comments! As you know, it really feels good to receive praise on your writing. You've made my day!

  12. You did that scene well. I could feel the sense of quiet as they snuck out. Nice snippet!

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