May 18, 2013

Welcome back to Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday, where writers come together to share 8 sentences of whatever they wish. This is Week 4 for me.


The story continues from FORTY YEARS IN A DAY. In last week’s scene, Victoria and her four small children had been granted passage on a steamship to America. I couldn't resist posting this excerpt.


“Abandon ship! Abandon ship!” a crewman bellowed down to steerage. “She’s taken on too much water—the captain says she won’t hold up much longer!”

Wading ankle deep in the sloshing bilge, Victoria carried Catherina and Gabriella with the strength of a desperate parent while propelling Gennaro and Vincenzo behind the others toward the ladder. Her adrenaline battled the rushing waters as she hoisted her children one at a time into the grasping arms of two crewmen. The rain came down in torrents, obscuring her vision as she forged her way skyward.

When she stood on the deck, wind and water hurled through the air, further chilling Victoria’s sodden skin. She squinted against the pandemonium as waves pounded the ship, dropping it like a toy into the bowels of the foaming sea and thrusting it up to repeat the endless badger. Her arms laden with the girls, she had left their possessions behind except for a satchel tied to her waist containing their most treasured belongings. Vincenzo and Gennaro gripped tightly onto her saturated dress, banding together to navigate the menacing motion of the floundering ship as it listed to starboard. One by one, they were hoisted onto a careening lifeboat with the might of several sailors.

Thanks again for visiting!
Mona

 


15 comments:

  1. Wow! I was so worried about the struggles they would face when they arrived, it never occurred to me to worry that they wouldn't make it!

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  2. Very vivid description of a disaster at sea!

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  3. Oh my!! And with the children there, no less! I hope their rescue goes okay! ::wringing hands anxiously::

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  4. This is nightmare inducing--for me. Incredibly evocative description, so great (fantastic!) job. I have children, I'm terrified of big waves and big water. Wow!

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  5. How gut wrenching! I hope they make it.

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  6. I'm terrified of water so this is my worst nightmare come true. Nice 8.

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  7. Chilling and so vivid! Great snippet!

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  8. Oh my god, I LOVE this. Very vivid writing with nice balance of action and emotions.

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  9. Wow, exciting scene. Great descriptions.

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  10. Excellent snippet. My heart tightened in my chest as I read it.

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  11. Thank you all for your comments. As you all know, writing is both scary and exhilirating at the same time. You've made my day!

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  12. Just one thing after another for Victoria, isn't it? You had me worried for them. Glad they got aboard the lifeboat safely. I think that's my tension quota for today. Well done, Mona!

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  13. Bad enough when you have to fight for your own life, but two little ones, PANIC! Well done, indeed!

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